A waterproof blanket? Nope, never even made the list.
But as Blue Zoca earworms itself into our subconscious minds, we realize what we've been missing all these years.
Without further ado (and with apologies to David Letterman), we present the first entry on our TOP 10 LIST of reasons you need a waterproof blanket.
BECAUSE GUYS GET EXCITED WHEN THEY WATCH THE GAME
We'll admit it -- we don't watch all that many sporting events on TV. Maybe the REALLY big ones, like the Derby. Or the Super Bowl. The World Series. 'Cuz you can see all the highlights the next day on the news. In like 30 seconds. So what's the point?
We thought that since sports have been pretty much cancelled during the quarantine the binge watching would be curtailed, but we were oh-so-wrong. Apparently, knowing the outcome in advance doesn't diminish the excitement of watching one's favorite team. And of course, a big part of watching the game is the snacks.
Chips. Beer. Ice cream. Soda. Pizza.
And when there's a particularly tense, game-changing moment, the guys can get a little excited. Even if they've seen it all before.
And that's when it starts -- the shouting at the screen (are you BLIND???? That ball was in by a mile!!!), the jumping to their feet, the indignant arm waving . . . . And that's when the food goes flying, glasses get knocked over and the suds spill -- all over your couch.
You can hardly wrap your sofa in plastic, so how do you keep the seating clean and dry while protecting your leather and upholstery from a tsunami of snacks?
A waterproof blanket.
What's the worst thing that ever got spilled on YOUR couch? Comment below -- we'll post the best answers on our facebook page.